I’ve been kind of low lately. Lack of sleep and being pulled in eight different directions does that to a person. I have been uninspired and unfocused. I hate the hurry up and wait. While I have great plans for the summer and beyond I still have to wait for those days to approach. My mother has been giving me grief too. Literal grief. She messages me right out of the blue and was saying how much she misses my dog, Dorian. How his passing and the loss of him is a good pain that she will always reveal in. I said that I really don’t feel pain. In the few months since he has been gone I have missed his presence but I have gain joy from my memories. The pain really isn’t there for me. Only a bittersweet smile that comes to my lips when I think of my lil’ rascal. My mother continued to push the issue about how I should live in the pain. Perhaps that works for her but that isn’t how I function. She isn’t willing to let me function how I do. She always pushes her ideals on others. She isn’t willing to understand or try to understand. It always frustrates me and makes me feel so low. So not part of a family when my own mother doesn’t even understand her child. I must let things go. I must not let things get to me. Beyond feeling low, work is majorly slow and I just want to crawl into a hole and sleep for a week.
A wise person once said “This too will pass.”