Sorry guys I have been without internet for the last week and then a bit of depression set in. I hate those days that I just can’t function. Its the weather. Maybe.
“Father please! I won’t be any trouble. I just can’t stay here right now. Please. “ I begged over the phone. I pleaded my case and I knew he would give into my demands. Daddy always gave into my pleas. I smiled. He told me that he would talk to mother about it and let me know. I knew that was a yes. Excitement ran through my veins and I looked around my room and marveled at all the things that I had given up over the years. It would make picking out the things I wanted to keep that much easier. I had already lived without most of this stuff.
I packed my clothes and the little personal items I wanted to keep. I surprised my mother that I gave away all my childish things. I told her that my sister could have my room. That was another surprise for I had been very protective of my room. Told my mother that there was no point in it being empty if I was living with dad. I felt the subtle change from my parents. They looked at me from the corner of their eyes; they watched me behind my back. I knew they were slightly worried about my mental state. I also knew they were happy that I was going in a more productive path. I still had one more thing I had to do. I was nervous.
I drove my mother’s Dodge Charger downtown. It was a small town not far from the capital. We had the draw of country without the draw back being in the country. I threaded my way downtown. I turned down a familiar street that I realized I have never been down—not for another three years. I smiled at the silliness of if. I parked at the edge of the road in front of a huge historic home. It had large pillar and a yard only big enough to have some edging around the structure. It looked so out of place. I was very anxious now as I got out of the car. I hesitatively walked to the front door and quietly knocked. After a moment I heard the chain being removed and the door crack open.
“Umm…Hello Mrs. Sheppard. Ah… Is Michael in?” My heart broke as I looked at her. She had been so good, too good to me. The love she had shown me during the three years Michael and I dated was totally undeserved and unconditional. She was my real mother. I almost broke down there, knowing she would never know how grateful I was of her love and kindness. Mrs. Sheppard nodded, smiled, and turned in to holler for him.
“Won’t you come in Miss…?” She asked
“Jessica. And no Mrs. Sheppard I will wait here. I promise not to be but a moment with Michael. Thank you.” My thanks could not portray my full appreciation. Just then Michael’s footsteps caught my attention and I saw him. Memories of three years came flooding back all at once. There had been some good times and some bad and towards the end they were all bad times. I sighed.
“Hey Michael,” I said like he would know me but a flash of confusion clouded his face. I knew I had to make it quick. Mrs. Sheppard the wonderful woman that she was instinctively left the doorway for us. I motioned Michael outside.
“Hi…I know you don’t know me but I have something important to tell you.” I was not sure what to say really or if he would believe me but I had to try.
“This is going so sound pretty crazy but please hear me out. I am…well I am from the future and…now wait until I finish. I know this is crazy but we date for three years but because of my…ummm…stupidity I destroy our relationship and you. You were always too good for me and you were so wonderful. I just wanted to say ‘sorry’ for all the trouble I caused and I am so happy that…” I trailed off. I had just changed the happy times we would have had but I knew this way was better. Toward the end of our relationship the damage Thomas had done was destroying my mental health. George Barnard Shaw said, “If you begin by sacrificing yourself for those you love you will end by hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself.” It was so true. I was scared to stand against him and it made me hate him and all men. I was always angry and scared and attacked everyone around me. Michael got the majority of my outbursts. He, loyally, stuck by me longer then I would have. At our three-year mark I added the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. I accused my wonderful Michael of cheating on me. I knew he was not but I blew up anyways. I yelled and scream and he weathered my storm with dignity. Afterwards he came to me and said that he could not live like this and was leaving. It tore me apart.