Breathe in and out

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Have you ever had that feeling of impending doom? I don’t know why exactly I am having that feeling but it is not fun. Like the stress you get watching a long tailed cat in a room full of mouse traps. It almost more than you can bare. I know I was very stressed over a work issue that was taken care of. It worked out to look like I was given everything I asked for. I can only imagine someone on the outside looking in would think. I have heard the rumors of some of the complaints that have come up behind my back. Maybe this feeling is from the image that is being portrayed of the whole situation. Don’t you love when people have no clue puts their two cents in?

 Perhaps the feeling is anxiety for my trip next week. I always get a little nervous flying. It’s not the actual flying that bothers me but the ticket counter and getting through security. A guilty conscience from an innocent person. I know that everything will work out fine, travel wise. It is a trip with my mom which I swore last time I would never travel with her again and here we are traveling together. She becomes an invalid in the decision making process and it frustrates me to no end. I will not be making all the decisions. I shouldn’t have to. If she gets silly again I will leave her butt at the hotel room and go find a nightclub and dance the night away.

I have training at work today. It is a role-play of a scenario that couldn’t even happen. I have been dreading this training for weeks. I totally don’t want to do it. I always hate these role plays. It is good training. I am not a fan of our instructor. He has an enormous ego for his short stature. I have never enjoyed these trainings in my 6 years with my department. It may stem from a deep seeded shame I have. Just general shame. I’m not ashamed of my job or anything. I am starting to sound like a nut case. Maybe I should get counseling.

 They promised a sunny day today but instead we have stayed overcast for the last week. Maybe that’s playing into my moods. Who knows.  Kinda feel like this picture here. Got to have patience.

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Author: StarOfGrace

Hello, how are you? I never know what to put in this spot. I turned 30 this last year (2015) and moved three times. I enjoy moving and normally do so every 3-5 years; sometimes less. I love to travel, read, be outdoors, watch movies, cooking, drinking, meeting new people. I am always up for a new adventure. I work in Law Enforcement and it keep me very busy. I have two wonderful cats that sometimes tell me that I do ok as a pet momma. If you are curious about anything just ask! Thank you Ester

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