Isn’t it amazing that one (or more) people can raise your ire just by seeing or hearing them. What causes that? That complete dislike, disgust, or disfavor. Where does it come from? I had my training the other day. It went very well regardless of people that distress me. I felt the scenario was poorly conceived but that is beside the point. We often times have these what if trainings. It is very good to keep a person thinking and the practice keeps us on our toes. I have to say that the person in charge of this exercise is a person of particular distaste with me. Now before you tell me not to judge, let me say I don’t go out of my way to detest people. Sometimes it just happens. And in my defense, this particular person overcomes his vertical challenges with an excessive ego, mean spirit, and a condescending mouth. I digress.
So myself and two co-workers participated in the exercise and were able to complete our task without many issues. Without being pretentious (at least I think so) I felt I reacted well. I have trust issues with putting my life in another person’s hands. Doesn’t everyone? Because of that trust issue, I tend to let others lead and then fill in as needed. This situation was no different. My coworker took the lead and I filled in the gaps they left. Our task got done quickly and without issue. In our debrief our instructor spent twice as long as the exercise. He would say, You did this.. and then would go off on an unrelated explanation of what he would do in the situation. I feel like he has to talk to feel important. None of my actions, though I thought they were justified were even mentioned. It was as if I wasn’t even part of the action. This is perhaps why I have such issues with training. It never make any sense and the feedback is not helpful.
I am trying to stay positive and focus on the good but sometimes it just brings you down. This might be the reason behind my not wanting to do these trainings and the anxiety that comes with it. I feel better now that it is over. I just know this is going to be a long month. Lots going on and lots to do. Winter is coming. I must prepare and get the yard in order. Start putting things away that don’t need to be out, etc. I am looking forward to my trip at the end of the week. My mom is giving my heartburn with all their questions about what to bring and how to pack. This too will pass.
On a lighter note: While I was typing this my coworker who is very grandfatherly was rambling on about this and that. I was half listening to him as I wrote but my attention was fully his when I heard this sentence. “Canada is a third world country… like Afghanistan.” I, of course, was fully enthralled at that point and asked for the reasoning behind his announcement. I was told, as an example, that in Canada you have to carry a gas can because the gas stations are so far between and most of them are closed for the winter. Like in Afghanistan where the gas stations are so far apart…supposedly. Made me smile at the very least.