Sunday Meditations


Its been a very stressful week.  In the midst of it all I am trying to stay positive and focused. It’s not easy. We all must work to “be in the storm but not affected by it.” I heard this phrase in a speech give by a police chief.  While his statement was nearly lost in the longevity of his presentation it is, none the less, wise words. 

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The Begin in Beginnings

It has been about two weeks since my move to Maine. The road trip went well enough. The move-in was alright. The house has some really narrow stairs. I have a huge mess in the trailer I really should organize it. In the back of my mind, it’s annoying me. I am starting to get my barrings at work. There are some interesting polices that will take a bit to get used to.

I was very hopeful in finding a place that I could purchase. Then I would have my own place to leave my stuff. Yes, we all want a place to store our stuff while we go and get more stuff. The few places I looked at were just not going to work. I had a moment of frustration and a knee-jerk reaction to bail on everything. To wallow in self pity and go down a dark path. Well, that lasted a day and then I pulled up my big girl pants.

So, I am going to go house hunting and see if there is anything worth making into my home. I am going to get settled into work. Hopefully, I can get word about when I will be heading overseas for a temporary posting. Certainly, makes it easier to plan if I know where things are going to fall. I am going to go to my brother’s graduation. And be a proud big sister.

Next year is gonna kick ass!

Auspicious Starts part 2

Well even with the rough start we were moving ahead.  The next day took us farther East. The roads through New York and Mass were fairly nice. Though, with $180 in tolls they could be better.  The countryside was quite lovely and some of the trees had held on to their leaves. Many reds and oranges. Traffic flowed well and I could set my cruise control for hours. That evening we worked our way across the Appalachian mountains. They aren’t overly high but it was a bit of a chore to get through.  

We were going to stop in Albany for the night but pushed out another 100 miles to Springfield. The sun went down early and there was a light freezing rain as we crossed another mountain pass. I was very stressed and tired from the driving but we made it fine to our hotel. Dinner was at a Mexican place next door.  The food was really poor and I lost my debt card there. Sigh.  I keep telling myself one more day!! The morning was bright and sunny, if a bit chilly. We worked our way toward, but around, Boston and North to “All Maine Points.” There was no breakfast at our hotel so we were going to stop for food when I gassed up. However that wayside had no open shops besides McDonald’s and they were cash only.  Annoyed we pushed on. The miles were quickly falling away and we arrived in Houlton at about 3pm. 

Now this weekend was my Landlords birthday so his daughters had left to go see him. So the keys were passed to one of the husbands. This particular gentleman ones a beer and wine shop. Just what I needed after 4 days in the car. Keys and beer in hand we unloaded a few things and crashed.  The next day I was able to find a cheap couch and we managed to make this a liveable place.  I am excited for this new start.  Hopefully I can get settled in well. 

Auspicious Starts

Well its been a rough take off but things are moving. Two days before I was to move I hit a deer. Came out of a shadow and there was no stopping for the poor creature.  Damage to my truck will be expensive but it’s driveable. Then the day before I was to leave we got about 5 inches of snow.  This storm caused my mom’s flight to be canceled.  The airlines refused to give her a hotel voucher stating it was God and not them that stopped the flight. Sigh. Well my dad’s best friend lives there so he grabbed her and they had a sleepover! We will be a bit behind schedule but oh well. 

I won’t speak of the evil threes in case I jeopardize my trip. Day one made it to Madison, WI as planned. The roads in WI were rough but we were out of the snowy roads so I was happy for that.  The countryside is rather beauriful with rolling hills, farms, and pretty trees. That night we stopped and mother found the rum that was packed for her.  Needless to say there was much giggling and shenanigans. The cats were happy to be out of the car and explored and finally found time to cuddle with me.

The next day took us three more states East. Chicago area roads were worse and congested. We move into Indiana and reminisced about places we lived in so many years ago in Indiana. I started Divergent audio book to give us something to listen to. If u didn’t know Indiana is just south of Michigan then you would be surprised to drive east and have state border above you. I-90 follows the border as you cross into Ohio.  I was happy with the expensive toll roads as I could set my cruise control and just roll on by.

This evening proved to be difficult as mother was in a mood once we checked in. She couldn’t figure out the TV and became very agrresive and condsending after that.  I, in hopes to get some food, said I’d go where ever she wanted.  Well we all know she can’t make a decision and my yielding didn’t help matters.  However, the front desk told her of a place in a nearby mall. It was very good and after she wanted to try to buy some jeans.  She couldn’t find anything she liked after I already bought some stuff. This caused her to become even more put out with me. While the night descended south I tried my best to try and relax and enjoy not being in the truck.  We still have two more days to get to Maine. Hopefully it continues smoothly. 

(I know I kind of ended this post abruptly but I don’t want to focus on thw issue we all know my mother can be. 😊)

Getting What You Want

maine

Well it is official, I am moving. Leaving the great frozen land of northern Minnesota and heading for the rolling hills of northern Maine. I spent so much energy trying to move and when it happened I was almost dumbfounded. It is like when you push against something and it gives way unexpectedly. You have that moment of panic before you catch your balance (or fall). I got over the momentary panic and moved into action mode. I packed stuff and sold things and prepped to go. Now I am in a holding pattern. Hurry up and wait, right?

 I will be heading East at the end of the month. My mom has offered to come with me. A offer that I am not sure I should have accepted. However, it’s a bit late to turn back now. I have planed the route and set up housing in my new place. Now it is only a matter of waiting until the end of the month. It can’t come soon enough and all the same it will come too quickly.

 

Any of you from Maine or visited? Where are the places I have to go to? Any suggestions?

 

Unhealed

jekyll-island

Today out of the blue the person who I consider as my ex-wife texted me. She asked after me and told me she missed me. She told me I was her everything; with out me she was nothing. And as any heart sore person knows this was water to a desert.  I couldn’t tell her how much it hurt to talk about these things.  How much I wondered if she was missing our friendship or just my company. As we talked more I began to wonder what these words mean to her. They must mean something different to me.  Where do I fit in? Does she understand my feelings? Do I? It isn’t an easy thing. Humans are so poor in communication. No promises were made and we left things as they are. I never really thought I would feel this way about another person especially a girl. (For more about her click here) I am at a loss for what to do. I suppose the best thing is to carry on as always until something different happens.

24 Little Hours

Its amazing what one day can change. Last night I could barely sleep knowing my sister was riding out Irma in the Orlando area. I watched as The Keys were destroyed and Miami, flooded. I watched as Irma, slowing but still strong, headed directly towards my sister’s house. I dreamt of cold rain and lashing wind. Then waking to check my phone for any updates. At 2am I woke in a panic and received a text stating they were just about to take a direct hit. I didn’t hear from my sister for the next 6 hours. The worry and stress was unbareable. 

In my sister’s neighborhood.

My brother’s girlfriend was staying at my moms. She was managing 2 horses, 2 dogs, a cat, and a bunch of chickens on her own. The property is in the middle of massive forested acreage. The amount of worry is indescribable. Finally, around 8am I finally got word my sister was OK and everyone was alive at my mom’s.  However, during the day I was not able to get damage reports. My concern for property damage made my day long and my stomach knotted. 

Near my sisters house

Orlando had restrictions for residents to return home. I can only imagine the fear my sister lived in while waiting for 6pm to roll around. She had word that her home was OK but the damage visible made that very unlikely. (As you can see from the above photos.) I am happy to say my sister’s house was nearly untouched!!! There was a few end shingles ruffled. At my mom’s farm there was a tree over the driveway that took out our power lines. Beyond that, the report is no other significant damage. 

It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and a test in faith. I know that along with Divine Grace that my dad was watching out for us. I can only hope that we will continue to be safe from Nature’s rage.