Home Sweet Home


So I have been in Maine three months now. I have been looking for a home to purchase. This is a big step for me since I am a diehard renter. I have finally decided a place to “home base” from and this is good as any. I looked at everything available in my area, in my price range, and ever lowering standards. I couldn’t find my ideal house in the country and have decided that a simple, in town home will suit my needs at this time.

I have been relying on my mother as a sounding board. She has had so much experience purchasing homes since we have moved around so much. However, the more I ask for her advice the less she is willing to be supportive. She began to give half answers and snide comments. I was really beginning to bring me down. I was starting to be deeply distressed.

I have made my decision. I feel so good in the choice. It isn’t the perfect place but really who’s first home is that perfect place. It will be a home. It will be great. I can continue to seek out the perfect place. Until then it will be HOME; MY house. And you are all welcome to visit!

Now starts the fun part with everyone looking for their pound. Why do I have to go through 15 people just to buy a home. The stress is driving me crazy and what makes it more difficult is I am working nights. Hard to sleep all day and still get all this taken care of. But it is coming. I am getting it squared away. Sigh….


What is a Shutdown?


Many of you probably do not work for the U.S. Government and are not directly affected by a government shutdown. I thought I would share how it has affected me. This is my second furlough. A furlough is a leave of absence. Many types of furlough are in use, such as, sabbaticals, medical leaves, R&R. This government furlough means that non-essential personal will be sitting at home waiting for a budget to pass. They will stay home without pay. If the politicians vote to approve back pay then all those sitting at home will essentially have been paid to wait. This might sound wonderful but think about not getting a paycheck for 3-5 weeks. Could you live on what is in your bank account for the time being? Or would you have to put a lot on credit cards?

For Officers like myself, I still go to work. My job is considered essential for public safety. So really I am working without pay. In the last shutdown I missed two paychecks. So that means I had to work without a paycheck and still hope that my bills would be covered. It is a hard position to be in. Gotta eat! For Officers in training they will be sent back home. This means that all those who are eager to finish and begin their career will be delayed. They too will bide their time without pay. I have seen cases where trainees that were a few weeks into their training and returned to training had to start over from the beginning. You can’t know how much that sucks.

So while the common man will not be directly affected by this shutdown it does effect some. It is frustrating and stressful for the most part. While it is a pain not to have pay for a few weeks a person who manages their finances well will not be overly burdened. While you listen to all of this propaganda on the news think about us lowly public servants that continue our day jobs for you and yours safety.

Sunday Meditations


As 2017 comes to a close one thing keeps coming back to me. Be kind. This is my goal in life; be kind and spread kindness. I truly believe in paying if forward; that kindness begets kindness. It is the one thing that is free to give away and grows from that. Keep kindness in your heart as we move into 2018.

Diary of Jane

I am here.  Where we once were together.  Its been so long I didn’t think I would think of you. But the memories come flooding in.  I’m near to drowning.  To take a breath is to risk a rise in the water.
I was at the place we spent long nights and early mornings. Your ghost haunted me as I walked the streets. Your words were whispered on the breeze. If I look just right you are silhouetted in the setting sun. I called your name.

I met someone who lives where you do. Or where you once did. Being near to them made you near. Do you feel my presence? Do you know how close I am standing?  I can touch you.

After so long how you torment me still. The miss of your touch, your voice, your smell makes me weak and near to dieing. We shall never see each other again. However, in my memories you will never die.  You are now immortal, sucking my life from me.

Sunday Meditations


I was having a hard time coming up with something encouraging to write today. It wasn’t that I was discouraged. Just not very inspired. I went housing hunting this weekend and was extremely disappointed in what was offered. I wanted to go home and wallow in this frustration. When you see yourself going that direction make sure you bring yourself back up. I allowed a moment of pity and then told myself to start looking for other options. Its ok to get knocked down but it is most important to get back up!

The Begin in Beginnings

It has been about two weeks since my move to Maine. The road trip went well enough. The move-in was alright. The house has some really narrow stairs. I have a huge mess in the trailer I really should organize it. In the back of my mind, it’s annoying me. I am starting to get my barrings at work. There are some interesting polices that will take a bit to get used to.

I was very hopeful in finding a place that I could purchase. Then I would have my own place to leave my stuff. Yes, we all want a place to store our stuff while we go and get more stuff. The few places I looked at were just not going to work. I had a moment of frustration and a knee-jerk reaction to bail on everything. To wallow in self pity and go down a dark path. Well, that lasted a day and then I pulled up my big girl pants.

So, I am going to go house hunting and see if there is anything worth making into my home. I am going to get settled into work. Hopefully, I can get word about when I will be heading overseas for a temporary posting. Certainly, makes it easier to plan if I know where things are going to fall. I am going to go to my brother’s graduation. And be a proud big sister.

Next year is gonna kick ass!