I have been thinking a lot lately about my life. I am sure its the holiday season. I have been on my own for a long time now. I have seen a lot and been to many, many places. And still I find myself wondering if I am doing it right. Should I have settled and done the family route? Should I feel like I am missing out?
While it would be great to have a companion to share my adventures in I don’t feel any great wrongness in being alone. Often I think if all the headache and heartache that comes from the stress of cohabitation. Is my feeling of loneness worth living with the drama.
At this time I am content. And I think that is what’s important. As long as I can survive there is no great need of change. Though if an opportunity presented itself I wouldn’t shy away.
Just realized that it has been a while since I posted recipes. So here are a couple!
Banana Pudding Poke Cake I have a huge craving for Banana Pudding. This isn’t a difficult recipe but has some steps involved. It also calls for 3 cups of milk but the pudding calls for 4 cups.
Pulled Pork Biscuits. I saw this recipe on Pillsbury website, I think. I made this from a very weak memory. Two cans of Pillsbury Grand Biscuits and some pulled pork. Now I made the pulled pork myself in my Instapot but you can get your pork from anywhere. Put a fork full of pork in a stretched out biscuit and seal the seam. Put seam down on a baking sheet and cover in egg wash. I baked about 15 mins but just watch them. As you can see some of them split. Regardless they are still super yummy.
Eggplant Lasagna I have been wanting to try eggplant recently. This isn’t a bad recipe to try. Try to cut the eggplant as evenly as possible. This again is a multi-step recipe. Make sure to brown the ground beef in something good; Italian seasoning, Cajun seasoning, onion, etc. I also added some cottage cheese cause I had some that needed to go.
So I have still been working on things for the house. I have finally found a Antique Writing Desk that was affordable. I did cut it down to fit in the space. Now I have to find a shorter chair to fit while I am writing. Yes, I know who writes anything anymore. Well, I do. I write postcards and my bills. Perhaps I will be able to find out why a Raven is like a writing desk.
I also was able to find a church pew. I have wanted one to go in my entry way for a place to sit when you put your shoes on. While I wasn’t very picky about what I go this one has history. Now it isn’t the beautiful ones that were $450. This one is less ornate but was from a church founded in 1899. So now I have a hundred year old pew to go in my hundred year old house!
I have been very conscience of the fact that a moment might be the last moment of me being that person. To explain, when you loose a friend or family member you are never the same person. You have a void in you that become the new you. While it doesn’t have to always be a bad thing. Your moment could be finding out you are adding a family member to your life. Regardless, be aware of the little moments in life. They may be the last time you are this person.
The weather outside is frightful…. So lets all stay home. Today was a day I should have just stayed in bed. I woke up cold and can’t get warm. My head has been bothering me the last couple days. I think we all have days like that. Better to hide in bed! Take time for yourselves.
I have realized that then things go a bit sideways on me I clam up. Really its like I just don’t have anything to say other then, “I am tired.” I am tired of the fight, the drama, the “fill in the blank”. There has been a bit of a ride this last few weeks.
Regardless, life goes on. In a couple weeks, I am destined for Spain. I planned this whole trip. Thank you Norwegian air. I am taking a bus from about three hours away to cut down on big city driving and also give me some sleep time in between commute. I also booked a few day tours. Thank you Viator.com. Sea Caving, Monastery/Wine tasting, visiting Andorra for lunch. You know. Housing close to everything but not breaking the bank. Thank you Airbnb.com. Eight days for about two grand. You can do it too!
Or if you would rather… you can live vicariously through me and I will post pictures soon!
And I will try to break through that wall that builds when I am upset. I know that someone might get some help from understanding my process. Or maybe I am just wanting to vent.
Have you ever looked forward to something so hard and have it fall through? That was my Halloween. Or at very least the being of the day. Work had me down. I was having a bad day from getting out of bed. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. The one thing that kept me going through the day was that this would be my first Halloween as a home owner. It would be my first time giving out candy.
After a drab day at work, I got home to see my roommate lying on the couch. A spot I knew he hadn’t moved from in hours. There were dishes in the sink and garbage needed to be taken down. This only added to my angust. So after doing chores and making dinner I was still looking forward to my very first Trick or Treaters.
I was in the kitchen and didn’t hear anyone knock at the door. My roommate got up and gave out candy to my first group of kids. Needless to say, that was the final breaking point and my first glass of wine. I was utterly devistated. The next time there was a knock on the door I didn’t even bother trying to give out candy. However, the person walked in the house and into the kitchen; masked and carrying a zombie baby doll. It was a very good friend of mine come to give out candy with me. She and I sat on the porch with my cats and gave out candy. My night was redemmed and my 1st Halloween as a Home Owner was actaully quite enjoyable.