T minus 24…23…22…

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It’s the day before we leave for the UK. I am starting to get nervous just thinking about the things that need to come together. It snowed today. Its suppose to snow tomorrow. I worry about other people on the road being as capable drivers as I feel I am. Now should I leave earlier to give myself a better chance to get to the airport. I already am scheduled to get there two hours before I need to be. These are the things that worry me. LOL. My internet went down yesterday. After a very frustrating call to tech support they say a person needs to come out. Well I am going to be gone so no you can’t come out. I have a wifi home security camera that would have allowed me to check on the kitties and the house but guess not. Maybe someone sabotaged my internet so they could rob me while I am gone. These are the things that worry me. I am ready to go tomorrow and I know everything will go fine. My mind is not as confident. Silly mind. Breathe. Calm. Happy.

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Hurry up! No, Wait.

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Why is life so much hurry up and wait? I feel like I’m in a perpetual traffic jam. You know that elation went traffic moves forward three inches and the misery when you see that is as far as you are going. Why can’t we have a constant speed like a back country highway where I only have to take cruise control off is for deer. I know I complain even when I travel so much. I just wish I could stay busy instead of the doldrums between trips.

I can’t wait for my London trip next week. My roomie and I have planned out almost every hour of every day. Yes, we have had some time to work on it. So this will be my last trip of the year. I hope it will be fantastic. I am sure it will be. So until Monday, I will continue to do a couple things every night to prepare for the trip. This way anything I would have forgotten I will be able to add to the pile. I will just enjoy my Kitty time and not miss them as bad when I am gone.

 

Disappointment

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Ever had high expectations for something you knew nothing about? My roomie and I went to The Nutcracker by Russian Ballet. I expected it to be some great performance since the Russian Ballet is very well known. I am not saying that the show was bad just not what I expected. Here let me explain. We drove 6 hours in near freezing rain. It was a long boring drive only made better by listening to The Odyssey narrated by Ian Mckellen. It took me almost 30 minutes to stop hearing Gandalf tell a story. I have never been able to read all of The Odyssey so having it on disk made it very enjoyable. After driving for what seemed like forever, we checked into our hotel. It was a very nice hotel with a restaurant attached which is where we ate. It was very unique in the fact that we cooked our own steaks on a rock that was heated to molten lava temperature. A few drinks and some singed knuckles the road weary fell away. We got dressed up and the hotel provided transportation to the civic center. I am not sure if it was because the center was under construction but we were seated in what looked like a basketball court that had a stage at one end. The floor seating was padded folded chairs. There was no announcement before the show, no warning call, no real anything. The people in the row behind us were loud and annoying. In the first 10 minutes of the show one of their group had a coughing fit and removed themselves from the row. Well since that person didn’t come back in the next 10 minutes their friends had a loud whispering conversation about how worried they were for their friend. It was very distracting. Their friend showed up at intermission. I was annoyed and “thirsty” and went to the bar at intermission. It took 20 minutes for me to get my drink. The drink tenders were the slowest people in the world. So besides noisy neighbors, uncomfortable chairs, disappointing drinks, the show itself was very good. I knew nothing about the story of the Nutcracker and watching in ballet was very wonderful. The athletics of the players was phenomenal. There is a lot of talent there. After the show we walked back to the hotel stopping at a bar or two, then went  to bed in rather comfortable beds for a hotel bed, and the next day drove 4 hours to my dentist appointment. Finally, 5 hours after my appointment we made it home to happy kitties and warm blankets. All in all it was a disappointing trip but chalk it up to experience. Hopefully our next trip will be a lot better. T Minus 4 days!!!!!!

Give a little…

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I have become a sap. An emotional rollercoaster. I was walking out of the grocery store and there was a young woman ringing the “charity” bell. She was slouched and nearly melting off her chair. I looked at her, guessing she was in her late teens early twenties and had completely desire to be there. Maybe this was her community service. Maybe this was the short straw. I looked at her and started to tear up. I thought if you understood what you were doing. That there are people that honestly need the money, the charity, of strangers. And here you are melting in your chair with a look on your face that this is cruel and unusual punishment. How could she be so clueless; so oblivious to her the cause and effect of her actions. Of course, I think of myself at that age and even now, so clueless to so many things. I am very much stuck in my little world. We all are.

 There are many times that something like this scene brings me near to tears. It makes me so thankful of what I have. It also makes me so sorry I don’t do more. I give a lot. I know I should give more. It is so easy to look away, so easy to forget. So I challenge you, don’t look away. Don’t try to forget. Give! Give your time, your excess, or at very least your money. I promise that it won’t be a burden or harmful. You may never see who you affect with these blessing but someone will be the better for them. You will the better for them, too. Besides we all need a little help every now and again and we all help one another then eventually when you need help someone will be there.

 

So close but no cigar

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Well I almost made it a whole year without an Emergency Room visit. So close. The other day I woke up slightly hung over with a pounding head. Now that is to be expected when you mix everything you have in the house and drink it. Normally I end up with a unhappy stomach and can manage to give it something greasy and get on with my day. However, this was not the case. I probably threw up 3 times before I had enough sense to get food in me. Well that lasted only a couple hours before I was worshiping my porcelain god again. I could almost set a clock as I was vomiting every 45 minutes. My head throbbed with unstoppable pain but only on the left side. I felt there was a gremlin stabbing me in the head with an ice pick. In my state I knew this was something I had before but couldn’t recall what these symptoms pointed toward.  I tried as I could to manage but without a cooperating stomach I couldn’t get pain killers in. So I drove myself ER. Told the lady I would like to see a doctor. She was the slowest person ever. If you haven’t seen Zootopia then you need to watch it. The DMV sloth was this lady’s spirit creature.  It was like she typed one letter at a time while looking at her fingers. Then looking up backspaced to fix her error several words previous. I was not impressed. I handed her my driver’s license and medical card and asked for a bathroom to go vomit in. Needless to say, I was quickly shown a room as soon as I returned. The nurse might had been the original nurse when the clinic opened. She was odd, like peeling wallpaper with plaster underneath.  She asked me about my pain and symptoms. I told her I had been sick all day unable to keep anything in my trampoline stomach. She didn’t not to even make comments to my poor jokes. She asked me if I was normally pale. I said that my mom always said I was white but she didn’t see the weirdness in her question.  I always wondered about why my father made jokes when he was ill and I was getting him checked into the hospitals. He went in about once a year with respiratory issues. I now realize when you feel like there is a troll on your head beating you with a stick you can’t do anything but joke. It is the only sane thing to do. The nurse missed the vein the first time. Switched sides of the bed to try on my other hand. Of course, she forgot all her supplies on the other side of the bed. So leaned over me to grab her stuff pinning my IVed hand under her breasts. Well at least forgot about my head for about 10 seconds. The doctor came in for a few minutes asked me 3 questions that were all repeats of what I had been asked before and said he would give me some antibiotics for an ear infection. I asked for pain killers. “Oh yeah, I’ll see what we have.” I wanted to say this is a hospital you better have the good shit but I didn’t. I just laid there. The first set of pain killers didn’t even touch it but about an hour later I was well medicated and much more relaxed; almost a blissful glazed eyed happiness. My roommate had an amused look on her face now that roles were reversed. I was discharged and showed to a vending machine what vended drugs. That I have to say was the coolest thing ever!! Why don’t more places have drug vending machines. Perhaps I was overly excited in my loopy state but come on its pretty cool. Twenty four hours later I am at work. Slightly weak kneed and tired but managing. I could have called in but decided that I could drift through the day and use my sick leave at a better time. Like when I have better things to do then work. 🙂 Hopefully you had a better weekend. And just remember if you ever feel bad but aren’t in a hospital you are doing just fine!

Questions

Jakub Schikaneder

As you lay your weary head down to sleep and are most honest in the darkest moments don’t you whisper pleadings to the unknown answer to a question? Was I right? What should I do now? ETC. We all whisper to the night things we want answers to but what if we don’t know the question? What then! I have not had a question to seek in a while now. I don’t know if it is because I no longer question my place in life. Or if my goals are all set in place. I feel lost so many times and don’t know what I am doing. I still know what will happen will happen. I try not to worry about it. But don’t we all have some deep desire to have some life altering question answered? What happens when we don’t have that question to ask?

Beyond these things that plague me I have the most interesting dreams. I dreamed that a group of people were staying at a hotel. Two of them were my siblings and the other ones I don’t know really who they were but belonged to family friends. Well we waited in an airport terminal to get into a pool. I was in a swim suit and the rest were waiting to get theirs from an our lost parents. The security kept eyeing us. Then I woke up with a Ricky Martin song playing in my head. Yes I need help.