I am here. Where we once were together. Its been so long I didn’t think I would think of you. But the memories come flooding in. I’m near to drowning. To take a breath is to risk a rise in the water.
I was at the place we spent long nights and early mornings. Your ghost haunted me as I walked the streets. Your words were whispered on the breeze. If I look just right you are silhouetted in the setting sun. I called your name.
I met someone who lives where you do. Or where you once did. Being near to them made you near. Do you feel my presence? Do you know how close I am standing? I can touch you.
After so long how you torment me still. The miss of your touch, your voice, your smell makes me weak and near to dieing. We shall never see each other again. However, in my memories you will never die. You are now immortal, sucking my life from me.
So much has happen in the last few weeks. I have gotten two, possibly three offers to transfer. All my desire to leave MN and now I don’t have time. In the last three weeks I have traveled half the east coast and tramped around DC. Waited by the phone as my sister was over taken by one of the largest hurricanes to date. Spend too much time with my mom but appreciate her all the same. And still not enough time.
But there is always time to take in the moments. It only takes a moment. I thought about it when I noticed so much change in the leaves since I’ve been gone. In the smell of rain. In the love of my cats.
So if cats aren’t your thing that’s totally fine. If its cars, video games, a breeze, or whatever makes you realize that when your life seems to fall apart you can focus on these tiny moments and see so much more. Find your peace. It will help in more ways then you will ever know.
“If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you” Friedrich Nietzshe
How telling that thought is. You are what you put into your body, mind, soul. That is an important concept to keep in the forefront of your mind. You should always be conscience of what you take in. This involves what environment you keep yourself in too. If you surround yourself with trash there is nothing else for you to take in but that trash. Surround yourself with peace and calm and your life will drastically change. This is something we need to teach our children. If we can raise a generation who takes a moment to fill themselves with peace and understanding the future would be bright indeed.