The trouble with Mothers

This post has nothing to do with your mom.  So don’t get all bent out of shape.  This post is about my mother. She is here visiting.  She drove 30 hours straight to get here, as if we were long lost friends.  We are not.  And only these visits remind me of that.  Only when she is here do I fully remember why we live so far apart.

The planning for this trip was some months in the making.  We spoke of all the fun things we were going to do. We were going to do mother daughter things like all the movies we had ever watched. 

On day one we lounged all day. Well she did drive 30 hours straight with two very large dogs. I had spent the previous day cleaning.  So it was nice just to nap and watch TV.  Then after, I worked a day shifts and came home tired and hot. Its probably the hottest weekend while she is here and me without any AC. That first day she cooked.  We sat and had a nice meal and then afterwards I did dishes and she dozed and played on her device.  Not much was said. I couldn’t tell if I had done anything. So I went to bed. This seemed to be the going rate over the weekend. Me working and mom quiet.  There were a couple times when I asked where something was or why something was left out and mother always played the victim. “Oh I’ve messed up again.” “The dog house for me.” I wasn’t accusatory just asking for information. There are other traits I see in her that I’ve spent years purging out of me.  The no communication and lack of decision making for starters; the nabbing, biting comments too.   I have been trying hard to be nonreactive to her words and actions but its not easy.  I luckily haven’t had the time to dwell too much on things.  We have had some fun.  My town put on a mini festive for kind of end of season sales at the businesses downtown.  We walked through that. It was my roomie’s anniversary and I take her out since her hubby can’t make it. I even took her kayaking.  I had planned a surprise sunrise horse back ride for us.  So its not like I’m leaving her behind.  I do try to play the good daughter. However, its not a good fit for us. I wish there was someway that it could be fixed. Somehow I could change my feelings and make our relationship more compatible. My new goal is now to just have a mother (in law) suite and she can do her thing and we can meet up. That would probably be the best for us.

Roomie and I drove down with her to the next big city and sent her off well. Good food and drinks. What more can a person want? Plus we got to go shopping. HEHE.

 

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