Today I am not very strong. My mind is running wild and my emotions are close to the surface. I would rather stay in bed and not deal with the world. It happens; days like these. To everyone, even the strongest. That is ok. You just make it through to another day, another moment. One of them will bring you back to your center. This is not a time to give up but to push through. You can do it. I can do it. We can make it.
Have you ever had the shock of accepting something you were against before? It doesn’t necessary have to be something you were dead set against but something you maybe didn’t approve of or agree with. Then something changes in you and then that thing isn’t so bad. It has recently happened to me. It wasn’t a big issue or something life shattering but I feel off balanced. Like that last step I expected but it wasn’t there or when you see the 3D picture in the chaos of imagines. I had a friend tell me that knowledge is a diamond. Each facet holds wonders and you must turn the diamond to get all the information.
Embrace the new information. The problem happens when you shun or try to pretend the knowledge didn’t change you. This change doesn’t have to deal with facts. It could be an emotional thing. Like the moment when you realized that two people you know are closer then you thought. Or a character was the good guy all along.
I am not sure what to do with this new emotion and feeling. I am going to have to rethink everything! It will take time getting used to. But until then I will continue to explore these things and not shy away from change.
In case you have no idea what I am talking about here is a picture of Skittle Chicks. (These are chicks that are dyed in the shell and come out colored. Later they molt and look like normal chickens.)
So last week I went to a Bible Study group at a friends house. I was a little underwhelmed at the content and interaction. I was disappointed, more in my expectation or hope then anything else. That is ok. The thing is I went. If you have something you want to try and it doesn’t work out-that means you actually tried something. Its a good thing. If you don’t try you will never know. This can be as simple as trying new food, app, or going to a new store. You might surprise yourself and find something you really enjoy.
Well it is done. I have signed and moved into my new house. I must say that didn’t get any warm fuzzy feelings. I remember when I bought my first horse, I almost fainted with excitement. When my brother graduated I cried with joy. However, the signing of the paperwork that designated me a homeowner left me with no feelings what so ever. Perhaps that is part of growing up and adulting. Perhaps, the joy of new things fades away as you grow up and make transactions to enrich your life. Perhaps I am over taxed. It has been a very stressful few weeks. Maybe in time it will dawn on me that I am Mistress of the Manor. I will admit that this isn’t my dream house. It was a way to afford living here. A transaction. However, this house I will make into a home. My home. That in itself is quiet impressive. And really if the cats are happy what else needs to be done?!
Working a month of midnights puts many things into prospective. Like the sun is horribly bright in the morning. Or that Spring Break children are not quiet at noon. You see a lot less of people. All good things to know. It also reminds me that people are in all walks of their own life. So when you meet someone at the coffee shop early in the morning that might not be overly kind, keep in mind their day might just be ending. Be patient. Be kind. Everyone is fighting their own battles.
My life could be easily be described at tumultuous. I have moved 2,000 miles in November, to a place I have never been to. I have been house hunting and preparing to be evicted from my current home. (Because the lady that just bought the home I am renting it is moving into it.) Getting used to a new work environment and co-workers. I have taken three trips since I got here in November. On top of all that, the constant drama with my mother has really started to weigh on the camel’s back.
I have been encouraged to go see someone. While this seems ridiculous because there are so many other’s in need. I did decide to see someone. It has been very positive. She seemed to understand the situation immediately. I have a new understanding of the difference between logical reasoning and emotional reasoning. I have new ways of detecting and reacting to these situations.
Regardless how well you have a situation handled, there is always room for a second opinion. This person might have a train of thought or a technique you might not have even realized was an option. There are many free clinics out there that can give you some guidance. Never say that your problems are worth some guidance. Everyone can use a helping hand.
It is a new year. 2018! We have survived last year and are braving on to this year. A month has already gone by and the news isn’t any better. As we revel in our strength and courage we must remember to be humble. Be strong. Be courageous but be humble. It is a very fine line to walk and very few can do it well. I often fall off the wagon and must labor to get back. If everyday we attempt to remain humble soon it will be a habit and then a skill. We can do this!