It is a new year. 2018! We have survived last year and are braving on to this year. A month has already gone by and the news isn’t any better. As we revel in our strength and courage we must remember to be humble. Be strong. Be courageous but be humble. It is a very fine line to walk and very few can do it well. I often fall off the wagon and must labor to get back. If everyday we attempt to remain humble soon it will be a habit and then a skill. We can do this!
I am here. Where we once were together. Its been so long I didn’t think I would think of you. But the memories come flooding in. I’m near to drowning. To take a breath is to risk a rise in the water.
I was at the place we spent long nights and early mornings. Your ghost haunted me as I walked the streets. Your words were whispered on the breeze. If I look just right you are silhouetted in the setting sun. I called your name.
I met someone who lives where you do. Or where you once did. Being near to them made you near. Do you feel my presence? Do you know how close I am standing? I can touch you.
After so long how you torment me still. The miss of your touch, your voice, your smell makes me weak and near to dieing. We shall never see each other again. However, in my memories you will never die. You are now immortal, sucking my life from me.
Keep an open mind. It is hard to do no matter how strong you are. You plan and plan for things to work out and when things are slow to bloom it is easy to get frustrated or discouraged. So keep an open mind and stay strong!
In this crazy world that we live in it is so hard to remain humble. It is something I have always struggled with. I know the more humble I stay the better choices I make and the less drama in my life. If I could go back to my younger self that is something I would tell me. Remain humble. If we could all be a little more humble I feel that the world would be a bit brighter.
I have started writing about a half dozen posts and then deleted them because I feel that they are silly or stupid. I have been having a hard time feeling inspiring or inspired. I am forcing me to write this because I do have followers and I am letting y’all down. I am very annoyed at work today. Of course, that is probably I’ve only had 8 hours off between my two shifts. Plus I worked an extra 20 hours of overtime this week. So my attitude is poor and I should be sent home.
Beyond that I have been trying to be supportive of my mom. She is now an empty nester. (Way late if you ask me) My brother has taken a job with Border Patrol on the Southern border. He drove all the way there and my mom bawled. I feel for her, I really do. With dad gone what does she have. I told her to come see me but she still have some responsibilities at home. I hope now that with him gone she gets in gear about getting everything automated so she can travel more. Beyond day one she seems to be ok. No big breakdowns or wallowing. So maybe things will be ok after all. In a few weeks she has to meet my sister in Vermont anyways. So there is that.
I will continue to post about my brothers adventures at the academy. I also have some travels coming up too that I will write about. So beyond being exhausted and annoyed things are moving forward. Hope the last of summer is going well for all of you as well. I would love to hear some stories!!
So I have been getting a little stressed lately. Trying to plan my life in a very unpredictable world is hard. I may have signed up for some training that all happens in the same few weeks. And its spazing me out. Beyond a bit of OCD having all these things up in the air is really uncomfortable. I realized that I am not in my happy place. I have lost touch of the one thing that keeps me calm. Or more likely, less stressed. This balancing point is different for everyone. You should take stock of what it is for you and when the world gets to spinning you can find a way to be at peace.
Many people look at me sideways because I am so willing to test the unknown. I know that it is human nature to ridicule things that are strange or beyond our capabilities. However, we need to make an effort to combat this urge. I tell people it isn’t that I’m not afraid it is that I don’t let the fear stop me. I believe if more people thought that way great changes would happen in the world. People who were letting the fear keeping them from asking for a raise, moving away, standing up to a bully, etc. would be able to change their path into a more desired direction. Don’t live through other people live your own life to the fullest. Scared but not stopped.