I have been meaning to post other than my normal posts. Time keeps getting away from me. At home I have been reading… a lot and work has been moving fairly quickly. I have been thinking about a recent “boy encounter” I had not too long ago.
This gentleman and I went for a walk (he invited himself) in the moonlight. As soon as we were moving his arm was around me. I was ok with that but not overly thrilled. I just met this person and had no notions of being intimate. And I am not a fan of being touched by people that I’m not very close with. He also was kind of handsy. And his arm didn’t stay still. I felt close to being groped. As we continued on, the conversation was very uninspired. I could tell he wasn’t really paying attention. As we made it to a bend in the side walk and in between the street lamps he pulled me aside and kissed me.
I was completely surprised. It hadn’t crossed my mind that I would end up kissing this guy. It guess that goes to show how disconnected my thought process is. I have given up being promiscuous. That’s for college. Now somewhat older and a little wiser I am looking for more than just a roll in the hay. I want so much more than that. Well so this guy and I make out for a couple of minutes and then says to me, “So…whatcha gonna do for me?” Now I haven’t been out of the game that long that I don’t know what he is asking. The dumbfounded look on my face might show otherwise as he quickly reassures me that “I’ll get you back.” I am almost in such a state that I could not respond. But I do and say that I don’t sleep with guys I just met. He scoffs. Actually scoffs and says of course I do. All girls do. How he was still standing after that statement shows how much I have grown… in self-control. Instead of knocking his teeth in I said good night and walked away. A short time later I receive an text saying, “You are weird.”
Ok, I am weird cause I don’t want to jump in bed with a stranger. I am weird because I am not a child and sleep around. I am weird because I want to be in a relationship that is more than just screwing. I am happy with weird. This is why people get divorced. They spend their “happy time” in bed and when that slows down can’t stand the person they are with. If I am going to spend my life with someone most of it will be outside the bedroom. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy the romp as the next person but I want so much more. I want a partner, a companion, a friend, a lover, etc. Its the way a relationship really should be.