Day 2,190 and counting

Today is the 6 year anniversary of the death of my father. Yes, thank you for your condolences. While the pain isn’t as sharp as year one it is still very much prominat. Your are now a lifetime member of a new club; Death in the Family Club. Everyday is a struggle. Some days, yes, are easy. Others however, are as difficult as day one.

I have heard that death is for the living. The thought is an odd one but looking at it, it really is true. Once you die, you don’t care anymore. Your existence has moved to a different place. Death, mourning, surviving that is for the living person to manage. And it by no means gets any easier with time.

I know that many of my experiences have molded me into a stronger and more diverse person. There is one experience you can learn from reading or watching and that is losing someone close to you. So please if this holiday season someone you know is not themselves, and a loss no matter how long ago could be the cause, don’t try to beat them out of their feelings. Only be there for them, quiet and supportive.

Traveling pains

Rushing through a random airport; music loud to drown the chaos; signs everywhere. I look at boarding gates as I move toward mine. Some place are new, most I’ve been to. I picture the place, friends, family, that are there. A pang of sadness, of inevitability of time, fills me with each location. Perhaps a bit of longing to go back to that time, place. A bit of pride fills me as I know I survived that moment in time. I am stronger and better and wiser. Without those moments I wouldn’t be who I am now.

The other signs, the ones I haven’t been to, what do they hold for me? Will that one be my down fall or biggest triumph? I am excited and terrified about who I will meet or what I’ll do. I stay encouraged knowing I have survived the last one. Bring on the next.

Sunday Meditations

Oh Spring. Everything is trying to burst alive all at once. Many of our local rivers have left their bank behind for wider territory of the lower land around them. This should be a sure sign to all of us of the renewal of life. Sometime it is powerful and breaks it banks sometimes it is quiet like a pushing seedling through soil. But it comes and we all must be aware.