The trees are changing. The weather is cooling. Winter is coming. It is time to prepare. If we start now then when winter comes you will be all set. It will be a bit easier to start now then to wait to the last minute. If you need to buy supplies it will be better to spread money over a few months then all at once or last minute. Being prepared for change of seasons can bring a bit of peace to a hectic time.
Rushing through a random airport; music loud to drown the chaos; signs everywhere. I look at boarding gates as I move toward mine. Some place are new, most I’ve been to. I picture the place, friends, family, that are there. A pang of sadness, of inevitability of time, fills me with each location. Perhaps a bit of longing to go back to that time, place. A bit of pride fills me as I know I survived that moment in time. I am stronger and better and wiser. Without those moments I wouldn’t be who I am now.
The other signs, the ones I haven’t been to, what do they hold for me? Will that one be my down fall or biggest triumph? I am excited and terrified about who I will meet or what I’ll do. I stay encouraged knowing I have survived the last one. Bring on the next.
Dear Diary,
Mom spends a lit of time with this glass. I wonder what is in it. It smells yummy but its cold. Why does she giggle when I check out her water bowl? I’m starting to think my Mom is a bit insane.
Love Raleigh
Dear Diary,
Mom has spent a lot of time outside and coming in smelling sharply. It’s not fair she spends all her time without us. But at least she brought me something nice to lounge in. It’s been almost a whole week since I got anything new!
Love Roanoke
We all will experience some type of loss in our life. It affect each of us in a unique way. Some of us get angry. Others wallow in guilt and pity. I have read many different ways to help the mourning process but in the end it is up to us and how we react.
I know that we try to protect others from dealing with loss. When my dad was ill and failing my mom told us to stay home and just continue on with the day to day. While I wish I could have been there to spend some extra time with dad and help support my mom, I am glad I have a few extra days. When life was near normal. I (now) appreciate those last normal days. After you loose a love one there is no going back. There is a hole, ragged and raw, that you spend the rest of your life managing. So never be angry if someone give you a few more moments of wholeness.
Grief is a process. We all have to work through it. However, being angry at how things happened doesn’t help the healing. Let it cover you like a wave and then wash away. A wave can knock you down or make you stumble back but in the end the water flows back out to sea. Holding on to that proverbial water will only cause drowning.
Stay strong. Breathe. You will learn a new way of life. You are not alone.
I have spent most of today traveling to the other side of the country. My day started at 0400 with only 4 hours of fitful sleep. I am traveling to see my grandparents. They are in their 90s! While I could have done many other things with my 5 days off. Not to mention spend the $700 plane ticket on something for me. I am so thankful I can go and see them. I am grateful I have the time, money, and will to spend all that on them. You might not be doing exactly what you would want to be but be grateful none the less because you are able to.
So there was a small space at the end of the day bed and I wanted a small table to put there. Me being an overachiever wanted to add a cat hammock. So I did. My mom put together the frame and I stained and varnished it. Have to say its much more complicated to stain a frame then a straight board. (Like the books shelves). 
However, it was easily done and put fit in the needed spot. When I brought it in Ms. Roanoke made herself right at home. I am quiet happy with it though now its difficult to make the bed. Oh 1st world issues. Another great project done!
Humans like to make wishes on random things; shooting stars, 11:11, chicken bones. Well, recently, I had a wish opportunity and I realized as I was looking for a wish that I didn’t have one. Yes, of course, I could have wished to win the lottery or find a beautiful house that the owner wants to give me. But at that moment I had nothing so pressing that I needed a wish. So, mentally I saved it for later and ended up wishing that a friend got something they wanted. I hope that each and everyone of you can make it to a point where wishing isn’t needed. Where the “right now” is okay. Not that your life is perfect or you don’t need anything. Just that you are content and satisfied.
So I have this little hill that is horrible to mow. So I decided I would make a Butterfly and Bee Garden. Bees are huge to our agriculture livelihood so this is my little way to give back. Plus, I don’t have to mow that area. Win-win if you ask me. So I moved some lilies and bought some flowering shrubs. I also have a bag of wildflower seed but they will have to wait until spring to be planted. For now these plants can get established. It already looks awesome and all the plants have seemed to survived their transplant.
OMG its August! So breathe. Take the next few weeks to appreciate the last few weeks of summer. School is going to start soon. Then Thanksgiving. Then Christmas. Time is moving too fast. It is ok. Breathe. Take a moment, hour, day; just to take a deep breath before the next big plunge. You are not alone. You have support. If no one else message me! (Breathe Pond, Breathe!!!)
Star Of Grace 